Rebirth13 min read
I Died Waiting for Him — Then I Woke Up and Took Everything Back
ButterPicks12 views
I died while Quincy Burke held a different woman's hand.
"I can't find you," his voice was two towns away, muffled and impossible to reach.
He was cradling her like a gem, stroking the roundness of her belly as if it was the only delicate thing left in the world. His mother, Vivienne Robinson, called the woman "my heart" and slipped an old bracelet onto her wrist like blessing and claim.
They all smiled at her. They smiled at each other.
I drifted above the snow and watched my body curled in the courtyard. The phone screen blinked with Quincy’s missed call. The light went on and off until the cold finally shut it down.
I should have let death be quiet. I should have let myself go.
But the swing creaked and the sound did what childhood songs always do. It took me back.
"Little Cadence," my grandmother's voice echoed, though she had been dust for years, "Cadence, come eat."
"He's giving me a piece," I remember Quincy saying when he was twelve, sliding me a hot, sugared rice cake. "Smile for me and I'll give you two."
He was a child who hoarded gentleness and handed it to me like contraband. He loved me with an easy, greedy devotion. I believed it with the kind of faith girls hand over to first loves.
Later, I learned that people change, that debts and grief and tiredness rent your soul in half. I learned that the man who once pulled me on a swing would one day become a stranger whose hand belonged to someone else.
When I saw them in our kitchen—Quincy leaning on the balcony with a cigarette, and Fiona Ferguson poking at the white disk of rice cake in the fridge—I felt the old hurt as if it were three days fresh, not one I had learned to live inside.
"That's a rice cake," Quincy said. "Wait—"
Fiona plucked it and tossed it into the trash. "Gross," she giggled, like tiny teeth showing.
"Don't," I wanted to say. I should have raked through the garbage, burned my house if I had to. Instead I watched the gesture as if it were someone else’s betrayal.
Months of small slights followed like a slow chain. He stopped calling me "little Cadence." He stopped holding my hair back when I was sick. He said my being reasonable was suffocating him and that he couldn't watch me "being so hard" on Fiona. Sometimes he said it like a joke. Sometimes like a verdict.
"It's just childishness," he complained once, in the quiet of our living room. "She's like you used to be."
"She's not me," I snapped. "She never had to worry about losing everything."
"Don't be cruel," he said, as if I was the cruel one.
When I saw them at the hospital with her hand on his chest, when she smiled and he looked at her soft as a private letter, I punched him across the face. The sound of my palm on his skin scared everyone into a silence louder than words.
"How dare you?" Fiona shrieked and slapped me in return, small and furious and full of that staged vulnerability that wins sympathetic likes.
"Get off!" Quincy pushed us apart and then—then he folded his arms around her like armor. "She's pregnant."
"Pregnant?" The word hit my bones like an old instrument, rusty and sharp. I had already learned—years ago—that I could not have more children. I had my loss locked in a small dark drawer and thought we had shared it.
"You have no right," I said. My voice broke. "You promised me—"
"I made a mistake," Quincy said. "I was drunk and I thought—"
He did not look at me the way he used to. He did not see the girl who had slept on his couch when his parents left, who had saved every spare cent to slide into his palm. He saw an inconvenient history and a problem to file away.
He begged, the way men beg when they don't want to lose what is useful to them. "I'll make it right. I won't leave you. We can—"
"Don't," I said. "Leave me."
I left instead. I tried to be sensible, to be the woman who took care of herself. I cooked, I worked two jobs while he packed court cases into his nights. I sent money secretly to his mother. I hid things like bones.
The cancer came like betrayal: sudden, uninvited, definite. When the diagnosis lit up the paper strip it felt like a quiet thief had come to collect the last of my days. I kept it secret because what else could I do? Tell him and let him fold pity into his pockets? Let him patch me with empty promises?
I died in winter. I flaked out on the swing in the old courtyard, my chest aching, salt on my lips, the phone flashing his name until the cold made it sleep.
I floated and watched as his grief unfolded in ways I had hoped for and also feared. He crashed through the snow, he begged the crowd to let him take me, his voice a thin rope.
"You can't do this," people said, blocking him. "The police—"
"Let me go!" he cried. "Cadence, don't—"
I listened to him sob my name until the sound wore itself down to something I couldn't hold.
After the funeral the internet boiled. Someone with a detective streak combined the video of Fiona slapping me at the hospital with the footage of them together and called it a scandal. The world wrote me as a monster, a greedy wife, a liar—because it's always easier to shout murder at a corpse than to watch a life complicate the clean narratives.
People who had once nodded at me in hallways now typed angrily. A thousand sharp fingers jabbed me in the dark. Fiona milked sympathy like it's a performance; she livestreamed how "devastated" she was and how selfless she had been.
My mother—Josephine Blake—stood like a weathered soldier in the storm. "Cadence was a good girl," she said into a camera, voice cracked raw. "They can't say that about her."
She'd kept something from me my entire childhood: that she left me to heal herself when the world was too much. She had reasons. When she stepped into the ring, the crowd hesitated. The internet is a mob, and mobs need someone to lead the chants. Not everyone wanted to shout.
Then the shouts turned to questions.
Did I want him to suffer? Did I want him to feel the bite of my absence? I had thought so. It was the honest ache, at least. But in death you have no currency, no votes. I realized that I hadn't died to get justice. I had died because I had given up.
Just when I felt myself slipping into a gray that meant "forever," there was a doctor’s voice I knew.
"Early-stage gastric cancer," he said. "We can operate. We'll need to move quickly."
I woke back into the corridor where, in my other life, I had seen Quincy and Fiona with folded hands and expectant smiles. I woke on the same bright day that had brimmed with betrayal.
I was back.
I had one clean break at destiny: not before the worst, not before the hurt, but just as the hurt appeared. The swing creaked. The snow fell. The life branched.
This time, I would not be a passive story.
I walked through the hospital like a woman with a plan. I scheduled surgery, I chose the best surgeon, I asked for the best meds. I did it because I wanted to live, and because living was the only tool I now had to take back the parts of my story that had been stolen.
I sent a photo from the hallway to Fiona.
"You were at the clinic today," I wrote with a coldness I had only recently learned to carry. "So was I."
She replied with the small arrogance I remembered. "He’s my man. What of it?"
I sent my diagnosis in the next message.
"I have cancer," I wrote. "I will be treated. You have what you wanted. Keep it. Keep him."
I turned the truth over like a coin and watched it flash in her hands.
Fiona posted everything like a trophy. She had a small anonymous account where she celebrated turning "the other woman" into "the wife," and she loved attention.
She did not know yet that the world would enjoy irony when it found a juicy script.
While I focused on healing, I started quiet things. I hired a private investigator. I dug my hands into old corners and turned over evidence that would have been ribs in a skeleton. I called a lawyer, Dawson Brooks, who smelled a scandal and smiled. "We will make it public," he said, his voice electric.
"You can't just ruin people," Quincy said when he found me at home that night, bringing flowers like a peace offering.
"This isn't ruin," I answered. "It's clarification."
He reached for me like the old habit could be glued on. "Cadence—"
"Stop." I cut him off. "We are done."
He wanted me to believe in the road back. I let him say the words. He said he had been a fool, that his mother—Vivienne—had been pressured, that Fiona had been a mistake.
"Give me evidence of that. Not promises." I looked him straight in the face. "I am going to have surgery. I will live. I will fight for everything I lost. If you want to be with me after that, you will have to have a spine."
He flinched. Maybe he believed it. Maybe he wanted to. Maybe his apology was a theater for an audience that had long since left.
The surgery succeeded. The tumor was cut out and the doctors smiled at my resilience. I smiled back like a woman who had passed an exam life had no right to give.
Meanwhile, I let Dawson work.
The public punishment had to be more than a viral video of Fiona crying. The world was tired of ephemeral outrage; it wanted a spectacle with a beginning and a fall. I wanted it measured, complete, something that would unnerve her in the marrow and make her name crack on the tongues of the people who had once cheered her rise.
We started small. We exposed editing tricks in Fiona's live streams. We found a trail of purchased followers, screenshots of her selling a story about me, chats where she coached other "thirds" on how to win men. We bought time with a lawyer's letter, then with a more theatrical touch.
The day we set for the public reckoning, the courthouse steps were crowded. The local press smelled blood and gathered like gulls. The live feeds were up. Every phone buzzed in the city with the same notification: "LIVE: Cadence Charles speaks."
I had practiced the speech. I had told myself not to cry. I wanted clarity, not vengeance.
I walked to the podium with a cane on my arm because theater needs detail. My face was pale from the aftercare, but my eyes were awake.
"Good morning," I said. "Thank you for coming."
"You knew the internet would love this," someone shouted. A chorus of mics leaned toward me.
"I didn't do this for clicks," I answered, soft and precise. "I did this because silence made me the villain by default. I did this because some people are paid to rewrite the story of the harmed, and sometimes the harmed need to tell their truth out loud."
"What about Quincy?" a reporter asked. "Why didn't you tell him? Why the delay?"
"I wanted to survive," I said. "I wanted to live past headlines. I wanted to be here to tell the truth."
Then we rolled the footage.
The first clip was the hospital video where Fiona slapped me, followed by a series of cut-outs from her private chat logs boasting about manipulating narratives. Her voice, which had seemed sweet in short takes, was a cold calculation in the longer sequences. We showed her coaching a younger woman—Jazlynn, an influencer who used to boast about the success of her methods—on how to push a man into the arms of a mistress and then claim the moral high ground.
Her fans were in the crowd. They were watching. Their faces shifted.
The second reveal was the heaviest. We had obtained a copy of her private livestream where she confessed to forging evidence and staging moments to sew herself into the middle of marriages. In it she laughed at the idea of "public sympathy as currency."
People who had cheered for her earlier felt the ground under their feet become unsteady.
Fiona's mother—someone who had stood on hospital steps formatting pity—arrived late and sat with pale lips. When the footage played, her hands presse d like prayer beads.
"Why are you doing this?" the camerawoman asked. "Aren't you afraid?"
"I'm not," I said. "I'm afraid of living a lie for the rest of my life. I'm afraid of letting people rewrite what happened. This is about the truth."
Fiona stormed toward the stage. She was taller in person, fierce with a rage that had been fed by approval. She ripped into the reporters. "You can't—" she sobbed. "Stop showing those stolen clips!"
"You staged things," a reporter answered. "You sold those stories."
She tried to call Quincy on stage. Quincy stood back, a stranger who once folded me into warmth, now a man with lines of regret and fear.
"Cadence," he said, voice small. "I'm so—"
"I'm not here to hear you apologize," I said. "I'm here to clear my name."
Fiona's fan base turned like switch-flipped soldiers. Some still shouted at me. Some began to murmur. The tide moved.
Then we dropped the final piece of proof: a recording of a phone call between Fiona and a woman named Jazlynn West, the same influencer who had earlier celebrated Fiona's success. In it, Fiona mocked my death as something that had the potential to be "dramatic," and Jazlynn guffawed that "a scandal is better than small troubles."
The jurors of the internet, who had once hungered for blood, were suddenly awkward. The applause started as strangers realized they'd been fed a script.
Fiona's face turned through an arc: shock, fury, denial, and then a brittle crumble. "You have no right!" she screamed. "He chose me! He loves me!"
"He chose you because you built him a stage," Dawson Brooks said into a camera. "We will show the emails, the payments, the fabricated screenshots. This wasn't love. It was a market transaction."
It was worse. We had evidence that she had, at some point, fed a woman into a dangerous situation—the woman Jazlynn had since perished in a scandal. We didn't show gory details; we didn't need to. We let the court of public opinion breathe the smell of truth.
Fiona staggered backward as if someone had hit her. Her supporters went quiet. Someone near the front recorded her with a shaky hand; the video went live in the instant.
The final knife was small and precise: we had found that Fiona had encouraged a driver—an unstable admirer—to speed by the woman who stood in the street. That driver was the same person who had later tried to harm Quincy. She had a role in constructing the accident that took him. We didn't accuse her of murder—there were limits to what evidence could prove—but there were emails that showed a callousness that made people sick.
Fiona's expression fractured. She clutched at Vivienne's coat. "You promised me—"
Vivienne had spent months knitting them together publicly. Now she turned her face like a person who had been forced to look at a stain in a favorite shirt and given up cleaning it.
"I trusted you," Vivienne said in a small voice that cracked like thin ice. "I thought—"
The crowd moved. Phones started to lower. Some people cried. Some applauded.
The difference between villainy and consequence is a long slow unspooling. Fiona's various denials and pleas became smaller as the public watched her stories collapse into payments and false screenshots. She tried to weep on television that night; the sanctimony had been stripped. Her followers turned on her in groups. Her brand deals evaporated in a single afternoon. The woman who had once commanded adoring messages was left with furious inboxes and suppliers who wanted distance.
She tried to go to the hospital where Quinn—Quincy—was being treated after the crash. The doors were locked. A cluster of nurses recognized her and called security. "We won't let her in," one said. "She brought trouble."
She was shoved out of the building. Her face was patched with makeup and tears. A stranger in the doorway yelled, "You made her die! You made her die!" and the phrase ricocheted.
She screamed and then slumped as if the world had hit her too. People surrounded her like a wave. The press recorded every step.
That night she was on every feed pleading for forgiveness, but the plea read like a sale. Her voice had no center left. Her mother hid behind a curtain of bags.
Days later, in a live broadcast she had set up to "explain," numerous people showed up: the widow of a woman who had once been played like a pawn, a man who had lost money because of her schemes, a mother whose daughter had been shamed online. They aired their hurt. Fiona tried to interrupt and the hosts cut her mic.
She crumbled in that public room. Sweat, mascara, the tug of ruined clothes. She begged. She blamed. She claimed it was all a misunderstanding.
"No," one woman said simply, and the simplicity had a kind of vengeance to it. "We don't forget."
Vivienne Robinson, who had once clasped her hand in celebration on a stage of falsehoods, watched from the front row. Her look said things no speech could parse.
After a week, Fiona lost her job. Sponsors dropped her. Her small apartment was gone in a month when landlords refused to renew. Her social media accounts were swamped with hate. The phones didn't stop. She received letters that started, "Do you remember her?" and ended with threats.
The evening she walked into a studio to apologize for the "hurt she had caused," she was met with an empty applause sign and a camera that kept rolling while the audience was muted. She sat alone under lights that felt like a judgment. It was the modern public hanging: filmed, critiqued, and kept in loops.
I didn't want her dead. I wanted something cleaner: accountability. I wanted a world to see the cost of playing people like props. Watching her fall was not sweet; it was a bitter thing, like a winter fruit you bite because it's the last you have.
When Quincy died—the man who had loved me and left me and then tried to find himself in grief—he did it with a last breath in a hospital bed.
"Little Cadence," he whispered, and the words were a lighted moth in a dark room. He told me a small secret with the last of him, something about the night he confessed under my window. He wanted us to have been foolish and blissful together.
"Keep your secrets," I said. "Keep your conscience."
He smiled, brief and boyish as always. "We were white once," he said. "We were so pure."
He died then. The press called it tragedy because it sells. I sat, hand in hand with a man who had been a harbor and then a storm. I felt something bruise and fold over. His death was a wound that would scab and ache on days when I felt generous enough to forgive.
Afterward, Vivienne Robinson visited me. She pressed a cold biscuit of apology into my hand like a peace treaty. "I was blind," she said. "Forgive me."
I forgave, because time is a thin fabric and forgiveness is sometimes the needle that holds it together. I accepted the house that had been in a tangle of titles, not because of his promises but because a woman needs a roof in winter.
I married no one after that. I sold things back to myself—my name, my dignity, my right to a life. I planted a small garden where the courtyard had once been wild with memory. Snow came and covered it and I watched as if each flake was a small rewrite of a page.
I went to the old swing and sat. The chain was rusted but steady. The first time I rode it again I thought I would weep. I didn't; I laughed instead. The laugh came out like cold air.
Someone once asked me if revenge tasted sweet.
"It doesn't taste like anything," I told them. "It tastes like medicine. Bitter, necessary."
I lived. I had scars. I had surgeries and checkups and days when the ghosts of that other life knocked at my door. Friends came and left. The internet moved on. Fiona disappeared into a quiet place in the country and wrote apologetic essays that got few clicks. Vivienne and I had tea sometimes.
At the very end of a long winter, I returned to the small courtyard. I stood where the snow had once been colored and looked at the swing.
"Do you ever think of the boy who once pushed me?" I asked the empty sky.
He had been a shelter and also a storm. His memory was a book I read sometimes. It didn't hurt the way it had. It didn't buoy me the way it once had.
I touched the rusted chain until my fingers were numb.
"If you ask me if I was foolish to hope that a life could be saved by someone else," I said aloud, "I will say yes. I was foolish. But I am also alive."
The swing moved once in the wind, and for a second the old laughter rode it back to me.
This is the story of how I died and then insisted on living again; of how the woman who loved too well found a way not to die on someone else's terms.
The End
— Thank you for reading —