Sweet Romance10 min read
I Barked at a Famous Ex and Got Married (and the Drama Unfolded Live)
ButterPicks12 views
I almost barked at a stranger and accidentally married my ex.
"Hey, handsome," I said into the rain. "You look like my boyfriend I never met."
He tilted the umbrella. The man's face cut through the wet like a statue in a storm.
"It can't be," he said, and then — with that voice that had once derailed my life — "Graciela, are you a dog?"
My chest tightened. "West?"
"Who else?" he sneered.
Three years ago I had signed him away. Three years ago I had watched him chase a taxi in a monsoon because I had forgotten the fare. Three years ago he yelled at me for being selfish, and I left.
"Do you remember the no-dating clause?" I asked.
"You were the one who sold me," he replied. "I'm not about to fall in love again."
"Fine." I dug up an old stunt in my throat and barked, "Woof."
His face went as dark as wet coal. "Graciela, you have guts," he said.
"Sign here," the clerk at the civil registry said without looking up.
"Is this voluntary?" the clerk asked.
"Yes," I said.
"Then we need your IDs, please."
"Where is my groom?" I whispered to West. He shoved a key at me on the way out and coolly said, "I'm not sleeping at home tonight."
"You are going to find pretty sisters," I hissed when he left.
"Try me," he shot back. "You have the guts, you dog. Go prove it."
I called my father. "Dad, tonight I want to see male models."
"Good," he said through the phone. "They're all yours."
I had been hired into my father's company, rescued from years of worrying about my mother's medical bills. He offered marriage for stability — not happiness — and I, hungry and practical, agreed.
"You sold me to your father," West said that first night in the hotel.
"I sold us both," I said. "We both wanted more."
"Then don't cry later," he said, and he did not cry then.
"You're not going home tonight?" I asked, small and stupid.
"No," he said. "I'm looking for a pretty woman."
"Go," I said. "Enjoy." I slammed the hotel door as if my hands could keep him out.
The next morning the TV showed West on the red carpet, arm-in-arm with my new stepsister. A headline read: "New Emperor of Screen and the Heiress's New Flame."
My hands went numb. "My father gave me a husband like a present," I told no one.
"You looked like you wanted to faint," Jessica, my oldest friend, said when she found me in the office.
"Of course. The man I left for chance and money is my husband." I laughed like a broken thing. "What irony."
"I thought you were better at irony," she said.
"He called me 'dog' in front of the registry," I muttered. "He called me a dog, Jess."
"Then bite back," she said.
He did not go gentle. At the hotel West carried me like a joke and locked me in the guest room. "Don't make me regret this," he said.
"Regret what? You told me I'm the one who sold you," I answered.
He pinned me to the bed with words. "I never wanted you to sell me," he whispered. "I wanted to make myself real."
"Real?" I scoffed. "You became real without me."
"Maybe I did," he said, his breath an accusation and a comfort.
We slept like enemies who had once been friends. The next morning a TV segment showed him flirting with Marina Stevens. My stepsister, who had been dressed as a princess in my father's house since childhood, smiled like sunshine.
"His hand brushed hers," I said later, furious and small.
"He is a star," Jessica said. "Don't be dramatic."
"You don't understand. My father traded me like a chair," I said. "He doesn't care."
"Are you going to do anything or just cry?"
"I will keep my job," I said. "I will make sure the actors I raise stay theirs." I had been a manager. I had fought tooth and nail to keep Hudson Peterson on a show. Hudson was my boy, talented and raw.
"That's your answer? Work?" Jessica grinned. "Classic you."
Days blurred. West cooked eggs and refused to tell me where he slept. He said he wouldn't interfere with my life, but his eyes watched everything.
"Do you like her?" I asked once.
"Who?" he said.
"Marina."
"She's... an actress," he said.
"You always say that," I said. "You always put distance between life and heart."
"Isn't that practical?" he asked.
"Isn't everything?" I snapped, and he laughed like a blade that didn't cut.
At a company pool party my father threw to introduce me to possible matches, I bumped into West again. He kissed me in the corridor like a man checking a wound.
"You're impossible," I said.
"You started it," he said.
"You left me with no money and a long list of debts."
"I did not know you'd come back to my life as a golden heiress," he said.
"I didn't either." I swallowed hard. "But I need your help."
"For what?"
"For my father."
He tensed. "He gave you a husband like a toy."
"Maybe I am a toy."
"Maybe." He kissed me again as if to prove he could.
My father's choice of husband was a plan, not a promise. Marina was given a special kind of welcome in the house: a room by the window, practiced praises, a voice trained to ask for things politely.
"Do you miss the old apartment?" West asked me once at two in the morning when the city outside smelled of rain and gasoline.
"Sometimes," I admitted. "I miss being invisible."
"You're not invisible now," he said. "You have my hand — even if it's cold."
"I might leave," I warned one night.
"You might," he echoed.
The fights and small mercies piled up. He forbade me from gossiping, but he remained distant. He flirted with other girls publicly and then apologized privately. When my father fell down the stairs and hit his head, the house theater erupted.
"His blood pressure," the doctor said. "It was sudden."
"I shouted at him the night before," I admitted once the monitors quieted. "I told him things."
"Don't carry that guilt," West said. He made phone calls, he stood in halls, he signed forms. He became a kind of anchor.
One night he bent his head and, in front of the doctors, said, "Graciela, take this."
He handed me a small envelope. "For the company," he said.
"Why?" I asked.
"You were the one who fought for that actor," he answered. "You kept trying."
I almost told him then that I had always been pragmatic — that love had been a luxury I didn't trust. But people don't speak the truth when their hands are shaking.
"Would you sign a paper to release control of the company to me?" I asked my father when he was awake enough to talk.
"Yes," he said, surprisingly lucid. "Take it. Do what you want."
"Thank you," I said. I meant it.
Then he was taken away again. The house grew colder. Irina Conway moved with the certainty of someone who had already taken everything that wasn't nailed down. She called me by my name with a wrong pause, as if she were testing the syllables.
"You're a liar," she hissed once when she thought no one could hear. "You want my husband's money."
"I want my share," I said. "I want fairness."
"You're nothing," she said. "Just a by-product of his guilt."
When I found out she had arranged to have a car crash happen — meant to scare us, meant to break the spine of anyone who stood in her way — I felt my blood turn to stone. West and I were hit on a dark road. The world became shards of glass. I woke up in a hospital and for seven days I didn't know if my legs would move. For weeks he was gone to a foreign rehab center.
"Why didn't they stop her?" I asked the detective.
"She paid for silence," he said. "And for a few people, money moves mountains."
I stopped talking for a while. I concentrated on two things: my father's recovery and getting Hudson the break his talent deserved.
"You're being cold," West said on the phone once.
"Cold is efficient," I replied. "Justice will be efficient too."
Months passed — or maybe it was days — until a line of thread snapped. A minor blogger dug up payments. An investigator traced wire transfers. A witness told the detective about a meeting Irina had had in a motel two months prior. Pieces fitted like teeth.
We organized a press conference to confront everything. West and I stood on a stage that smelled of fresh paint and anxiety.
"Today," I began, my fingers almost numb, "we present evidence of an attempted homicide and corruption at the hands of Irina Conway."
Around us the crowd buzzed. Cameras swallowed the room. Marina clung to a publicist at the back. My father watched from a chair with West's hand on his wrist.
Irina stepped up to the microphone. Her face was porcelain and practiced. "This is slander—"
"Wait," I said. "We have bank records, motel receipts, and the confession of the driver who was paid to stage the accident."
"That's false," she hissed.
"Then explain this." West held up a folder. He slid a series of photos across the stand. "This shows payments tracked to your account. Here is the audio of your phone call to the arranger."
Irina's mouth trembled — the first honest thing of the day. "Those are forged," she spat.
"Are these forged?" I asked the reporter beside me. She nodded. "We have verified them with two independent forensic teams."
Irina looked around. Her eyes found the rows of phones pointed at her like spears. Her face, that perfect mask, began to crack.
"How dare you!" she screamed. "You're ruining my family!"
"You were ruining ours," I said. "You broke our home."
A murmured gasp rolled across the room. A camera light popped; someone shouted, "This is live!"
The police, who had been waiting at the back under plain clothes, moved in. They approached slowly, deliberately, as one would approach a dangerous animal.
"Madam Conway," the officer said through the microphone, making the announcement part of the broadcast. "You are under arrest for conspiracy to commit bodily harm, attempted murder, and corruption."
There was a second of impossible silence. Then Irina laughed — a short, brittle noise that showed how unhinged she was.
"No," she said. "You can't—"
"Please, stop," someone in the crowd said. A woman sobbed. The cameramen made clicking noises.
Irina's face went white. She clutched at the podium as if it were a precipice. "You're lying," she panted.
The officer pulled out the handcuffs. "Madam Conway, you have the right to remain silent."
She kicked out. "I'm not going anywhere with—!" Her voice broke into a sob that sounded like a child betrayed.
"Get her out," one of the police ordered.
Men in dark jackets took hold of her. She resisted briefly. Her manicure scratched one officer's cheek. Then she went limp, like an animal realizing it had lost the last scrap of dignity.
"Mom!" Marina cried. She reached for her, but security blocked her path. The crowd surged, some to film, some to gasp.
"Look at her," someone whispered on camera. "She looks so small."
"She looked big in the house," another voice said. "Now she crumbles."
The public shifted from curiosity to scorn.
Irina's reaction ran through a circuit: arrogance, denial, outrage, then the slow fall of acceptance. At first she spat denials.
"You're fabricating this! You are criminals!" she shrieked toward me.
"Look them up yourself," I said, with a coldness I hadn't known I possessed. "They will show you the motel logs, the bank transfers, and the recorded confession of the man who drove the rigged truck."
She went pale, then red, then drained again.
"This is illegal," she moaned to the cameras like an actor begging for pity. "You can't do this to me."
"We can," the officer answered. "You hired a hit to silence people."
Her face collapsed. She started to sob uncontrollably. The sobbing moved through stages: shrill pleas, then helpless murmurs, then a childish, defeated whimper.
"Please..." she mouthed to anyone who would listen. "Please, I didn't mean—"
"Did you mean to break bones?" a journalist called out.
She folded. "I was afraid," she whispered. "I thought if he left everything to her I would be forgotten. I was afraid."
"Afraid people would leave you?" a cameraman asked.
"Yes. Afraid."
The crowd circled. Phones rose like iron flowers. Some people laughed; others cried; one woman reached up and slapped the microphone for effect.
"How do you feel, Marina?" a reporter asked the stepsister.
"I... didn't know," Marina stammered. "I didn't know she would go this far."
"Are you sorry?" someone else demanded. "Are you sorry you took his attention?"
Marina's face contorted with guilt and confusion, but most of the room felt a dark triumph at the once-magnificent woman's fall.
Irina's denial finally slid into bargaining.
"Please," she begged the officers, grabbing at them with shaking wrists. "I'll give you money back. I'll sign anything. I won't—"
"Too late," the lead officer said. "You will have your day in court."
The public's reaction shifted into a chorus. People pressed phones closer. One by one, as Irina was led away, cries of "Shame!" followed her down the aisle. A man yelled, "Lock her up!" Two women clapped slowly, rhythmically, like a mockery.
At the end, when the doors closed and the broadcast cut, West and I stood on the stage, side by side, hands linked as if by habit.
"Did you see her face?" he asked quietly.
"I saw it," I said. "It looked like relief and fear braided together."
He nodded. "You did it."
"I didn't do it," I said. "But I did not step aside."
The cameras receded. The crowd dispersed. The courthouse line would soon swell. Marina watched the van that took her mother away with a face like a child watching a kite snap.
"Get out of my life," she whispered once, to no one in particular.
The punishment was public, brutal, and not cinematic. It was messy: PR collapses, live televised arrests, the county prosecutor reading charges out loud, and the crowd's voice shifting from curiosity into moral rage. Irina's arc was a cautionary tale for everyone present.
After the arrest, journalists flooded every inch of my life. People who had vilified me turned into investigators of new gossip. But something fundamental changed: my father came back to the hospital, lucid enough to sign papers. He returned to living under the shadow of guilt.
"You did the right thing," West told me that night, touching my cheek.
"Did I?" I asked. "I still feel like a thief sometimes."
"Then don't be," he said. "You saved him from someone who wanted to take everything."
We rebuilt. Hudson Peterson got his shot and ran with it. Marina left for university abroad. My father and I made a quiet, awkward truce. West learned to laugh again. He learned to count my height for the fun of it, to tease me about the numbers like a private joke.
"You're 165," he said once, teasing.
"One day you'll measure and say 166 just to be mean," I warned.
"I would," he said. "But I'll always tell you the truth when it counts."
"Do you love money more or me more?" I asked him in a rare, unguarded night.
He blinked. "You," he said after a beat. "Because money needs work. You need me."
I smiled, and it wasn't purely mercenary anymore. It was soft, real, and steady like a hand in the dark.
When the scandal faded, when the house no longer smelled of late-night schemes, we married properly — this time with vows and small jokes about scolding our future kids.
"Graciela," West whispered once on our wedding night, "you were never a dog."
"I was starving," I replied.
"Then I'm glad you barked," he smiled. "Because otherwise I might never have noticed you when you were hungry."
We both laughed, then kissed until the world seemed quieter.
The End
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